Poppy in the Sun: Letting Go

New Print available here - quote by Jen Gray

Day 5 of the Reverb10 project

December 5 Let Go
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

Things I have let go of this year:

I have let go of putting a smile on my face when I'm hurting deeply
I have let go of being a Super Mom that throws over the top Perfect Birthday Parties
I have let go of tight control on $. I still have a budget but I allow myself luxuries once in awhile.
I have let go of being the perfect friend. This is a hard one. I made a lot of mistakes and learned many life lessons because of it.
I have let go of losing weight. I read "Women, Food and God" and realized that my approach to losing weight and being "healthy" were not healthy at all. I am still reading this book and being gentle with myself about this issue. I know I will get there when the time is right.
I have let go of fear and more fear :

Fear of sharing myself – the real me
Fear of putting my art out into the world
Fear of calling myself an artist
Fear of my past - Instead of hiding from my broken pieces, I am embracing them and looking them straight in the eye with a heart full of love.
Fear of not having enough "_____" (money, time, space, energy) still working on this one and probably will be my whole life

I have let go of being "little miss perfect". This is one of those broken pieces I found this year. She served me well and got me to where I am in life, but it's time to have a little fun and let her rest for a bit.
I have let go of the idea that it's BAD to be angry. It's totally ok. There is a time, place and method for releasing anger that does not harm other people.
I have let go of a LOT of judgment. This will also be a lifelong process but a major release has happened in this area of my life this year. I am embracing the idea that "All judgment is self-judgment". I have followed that rabbit trail and it led me right back to myself. It's a difficult but necessary part of my journey and goes hand in hand with forgiveness.
I have let go of "being nice" at the expense of my own desires and NEEDS. I learned to really think about what I need and ask for it.
I have let go of the idea that my emotions should be on an even plane. That is not the way life works and as a person who FEELS things very deeply, it's absurd to think I could ever live that way. I'm going to have UP days and DOWN days and they are all ok.