2012 was a BIG year full of changes, accomplishments, failures, adventures and lessons learned.
The
high moments were over the top, pinch me good…
Giving and Receiving Love and Acceptance with Che
Seeing
Florence and the Machine in Kansas City and
being
10 rows from Roger Waters and the Wall
Running
my first 5k, 10k, 15k and Half Marathon
Backpacking
with Che through the Ozark mountains and so many other places too
Selling
my first piece of art
Capturing
beautiful families and raw powerful emotions with my camera
Hiking
and Camping with the boys for the first time and seeing my role as their mother
shift as they become older
Manifesting
new friendships and then watching them appear before my eyes
Rekindling
my love for vinyl records
Releasing
emotional and physical shame that I never dreamed possible
And
seeing the play that has entered my life as a result.. skinny dipping really is
as fun as I thought it could be.
Of
course there have been low moments as well…
Insecurity
that continues to rise
Battling loneliness
Shadows
that suck me into the depths and threaten to snuff out my light
Guilt and Shame from poor choices
And
frustrations with difficult relationships.
But
through the roller coaster, I can say 2012 really was one of the best of my
life. I feel stronger and more confident, physically, mentally and spiritually.
In 2011 I joined the one little word wagon and chose Hope to guide me through.
Who knew that would be the year I would get divorced and have to rely on that
simple idea to find my way. It guided me and sparked my light to live for
myself and for my boys. As 2012 neared Che entered my life and a new focus
began. Letting go is what he called it and I let the idea slip into my heart
like a missing puzzle piece. I knew I had to step out of the bubble I had been
living in for so many years and learn a new way of being - One that allowed me
to be simply me with full acceptance. That acceptance continues to be one of
the greatest gifts I have ever received.
As
2013 approaches I foresee a year that is less about letting go and more about
embracing. They are really two sides of the same coin, but I want to focus this
year on taking action. On being true and firm in my power to love. I want to
embrace the everyday moments that come along with a peace and clarity that will
create an easier ride for the journey. I know my emotions will continue to ebb
and flow but I hope to find a way to allow them, honor them but not let them
rule me. I believe the key is going to be in embracing them along with my inner
passengers and shadows. Instead of hiding from the parts of me that I wish I could
pretend don’t exist, I will embrace them with love. I will find the gift each
one has to offer and make amends for the hurts they have caused in the past. I
think everything has led me to this point in the road. Every challenge that I
have overcome has given me a little more strength for the journey ahead. I have
big dreams and I’m ready to embrace them fully and do what it takes to make
them succeed.
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