Presence in Pain

Sometimes I wish my soul wasn't quite so zealous for life lessons and enlightenment.

This week I am on vacation with my boys adventuring and exploring in St. Louis.

I met with my good friend Suzanne to set some mastermind goals for this week Sunday night. I told her I wanted to practice the observation meditation that seemed to shift and relax my mind so well over the past few weeks. I also wanted to stay present with the boys as much as humanly possible no matter what internal stuff I was dealing with.

We are having a great trip so far! But I am also dealing with a personal issue causing intense physical pain. I have researched and I will be fine. It will just take time to heal.

I am frustrated by the timing but there's nothing I can do about it but accept it, take care of myself and keep going. I refuse to let my own pain hold me back from giving the boys a great trip and memories.

I read a little last night about how to meditate to relieve pain and found another life lesson.

I ran across the practice of Tonglen as explained by Pema Chodron, one of my favorite teachers. She says experiencing pain allows and broadens our compassion for others. In order to have compassion for others, we HAVE to have compassion for OURSELVES first.

I tend to go inside when I feel pain. I stare harshly and try to go away. Checking out feels like the only way to escape. I alienate myself and push away the compassion that is given to me, even though I'm aching for someone or something to hold me and love me.

This go round I'm trying things a little different. I am practicing the Tonglen meditation of breathing into the pain, feeling it fully and then breathing out love

and light to that part of my body.

Pema writes that the better we get at doing this for ourselves the better we are at giving it to others. I want my life to be a testament to this kind of compassion and love.

It's interesting how the universe guides us too. This morning Hay burned his finger at breakfast. Not bad but it hurt. When he panicked it hurt worse. Once he just accepted that it was happening and took a few deep breaths he was ok. When I showed him compassion it helped even more.

So while pain sucks, these lessons are worth learning for all of us. I am grateful for this crazy life we get to live. Mirroring and loving each other as we go.